Stress has been calling lately… the challenges of parenting, fending off Satan’s attacks as we prepare for Vacation Bible School, and getting ready for our big September outreach of Praise in the Park… dealing with conjunctivitis for the past three weeks… all of these have combined to make this woman scream…
“I’m ready for VACATION!!” Alas… it’s not until August 9th, but each time I think of our impending departure, I smile! Can’t wait to reach Searsport Shores!
It was compounded last night when I drove my foot into a doorcasing and broke my toe. Now I’m juggling all these activities on crutches! So much for dancing around on stage doing motions for the VBS songs. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
But thank God Jesus said this:
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27
Even in the midst of chaotic and confusing times… days that bring anxious situations and trying circumstances… my peace is not dependent on what’s going on around me. It’s dependent on the One who has given me perfect peace that passes all understanding. I am so grateful that in a world that is constantly changing, He is my constant - my source of peace. What a beautiful Savior!
Forgive me for not posting as frequently. I’ll get back to it eventually. Heck, with four to six weeks of trying to stay off my foot, maybe I’ll post MORE frequently. LOL. Either way, I pray that you will be experiencing His peace as well…
“For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves.” (Luke 22:27)
The measure of greatness in the kingdom of God differs vastly from that of the world. Our society idolizes the rich, the powerful, the beautiful, and the athletic. We even make celebrities out of those who brazenly flaunt their immorality. The world claims it is demeaning to serve others. However, God’s kingdom completely rejects the world’s measure for esteem, giving the greatest honor to the one who serves most. The person who serves selflessly, lovingly, without complaint, and without seeking recognition is highly regarded in the kingdom of God.
When Jesus and His disciples entered the upper room, the disciples looked for a prominent place to sit; Jesus looked for a place to serve. As they awkwardly waited to be served, Jesus took a towel and basin and washed their feet (John 13:1–15). We Christians like to refer to ourselves as servants, but we are seldom content to be treated as servants! We are tempted to adopt the world’s evaluation of importance. But when we look to Jesus as our model, we see that it takes a far more noble character to serve than to be served.
The world will estimate your importance by the number of people serving you. God is more concerned with the number of people you are serving. If you struggle to be a servant, your heart may have shifted away from the heart of God. Ask Jesus to teach you selflessness and to give you the strength to follow His example. Watch for Jesus’ invitation to join Him in serving others. It will come.
What an appropriate devotional to have so soon after the mission trip to Portland! My head is still swirling with everything the Lord is teaching me through yesterday’s adventure. As I read this devotional the other day, I couldn’t help but think of Alyce setting up her camp chair at the church in Portland yesterday, and then never seeing her sit in it. Instead, on several different occasions, there were homeless men, sitting in her chair, watching the happenings all around them. The chair she had taken, intending to sit in, was vacant as she ministered - standing at that grill all afternoon. It was left empty as Alyce looked for a place to serve, rather than a place to sit.
We handed out over 50 tote bags full of stuff (toothpaste, toothbrushes, hand sanitizer, granola bars, water bottles, deodorant, socks, miscellaneous other stuff, as well as tracts and a Bible). We had about 35 (?) bedrolls (camping mats) and handed all of those out, and tons of other stuff… clothes, blankets, tarps, etc. We set up some grills and gave away hotdogs and pasta salad. We also had sandwiches all bagged and gave some to each homeless person we met to take with them for later. So many needs were met. So many we couldn’t even touch.God led us to a church in Portland. They told us we could set up on their lawn and hand out our stuff. Apparently if you give anything out on public property (sidewalks, parks, etc), you have to have all kinds of permits. They wanted $80 for us to give away hotdogs! BUT… if you’re on church property, they can’t do anything… something about separation of church and state? Makes no sense to me, but that’s what the city said. Sooooooooooo… Candy called churches and we found one that was right on the opposite side of the street as the park we had wanted to use! They let us set up in their parking lot/lawn, and even kept the church open so we could use their bathrooms.
We got to pray with several people. We also prayed FOR some. There was one girl in particular. Young - early twenties, if that. She was pregnant and strung out on cocaine. She wouldn’t let anyone near her. Candy tried to offer her food and a tote bag, but she started screaming at her to get away. Candy had already had contact with her once before, so she knew her… but in her drugged out state, she was paranoid and belligerant. We prayed for her, anyway, from across the street. It was a powerful thing to stand hand in hand in a circle… several of us girls, including teens… and pray for this poor girl across the street. Each of us prayed individually, and by the time we finished, I was a blubbering mess. I wasn’t the only one. It was a powerful moment. We never did get a chance to talk to her anymore than an offer once again rejected, but we know God can send someone else into her path as easily as He can use us. Pray for Elizabeth - coke addict, mom-to-be… and also for her unborn child.
Thundershowers moved in around 4pm. The rain was driving… we all got soaked to the bone. We had gotten rid of all the food… and everything but some clothes and were taking cover under the awning of a church when a man came up - Guadelupe - and asked if we had anything left. We explained that we’d already gotten rid of everything. Candy had some gift cards to McDonald’s, so she gave him one of those, and Alyce even drove TO McDonalds and bought him some hot food… while she was gone and we were waiting, we prayed with Lupe. He told us that he wanted to get to a “home” where he could kick drugs and alcohol for good. We gave him the name of Cathy’s brother, Rick Martin, who runs a Christian rehab center in Maine. We prayed with Lupe. He asked if he could pray too… we said, “Of course!” After Mark had prayed for Lupe, Lupe began to pray… in Spanish. I have no idea what he said, but it was beautiful. He began to cry as he prayed… and then he returned to English and said, “Oh, God I’m so sorry for the wrong I’ve done. I’m so sorry. I need You, God. I need You to love me. I want to do right. I want to love You too.” My tears mixed with the rain on my face and I’m sure I was a frightful sight… but I’ll tell you what - I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. Anything. We had to leave, but Lupe stayed at the church to meet with the Pastor after we left. God is so good! Pray for Lupe as well, please.
Joel asked how it went when I got home and I couldn’t even describe it adequately. It really is one of those experiences that you have a hard time explaining to someone who wasn’t there. I tried to tell him how humbling (if that’s the right word) it was to watch these people walking down the street in the driving rain… and to know that in ten minutes I would be inside my nice new car with the heat blasting while they were heading off to find the biggest tree they could to get shelter from the rain. I tried to explain how guilty I felt throwing even a little bit of my Arby’s dinner away (I didn’t like my sandwich), knowing that the people we met today would give anything to HAVE that sandwich, and they certainly wouldn’t have been complaining about it. I’d left the sunroof on my car open, not noticing it until Tara informed me that our seats were SOAKED. We stopped at Walmart on the way home and I bought some bath towels to sop up the water and keep us dry. I bought a set of sweats to wear home so I wouldn’t have to make the entire drive damp and chilled. And now all I can think is how the money I spent to avoid inconvenience could have been used to buy camping mats that would help these people have a barrier between the cold ground and their bodies. Maybe humbling isn’t the right word… I don’t know. It’s overwhelming. They need so much… and we HAVE so much… and yet it seems impossible that we could ever meet their needs. Maybe God designed it that way… because their greatest need is for Jesus. They need something that we can’t give them at all… only He can. I pray that they will see God’s love through our conversations, our meager gifts, our listening ears… and that they will be drawn to the Savior who can meet their deepest need. Yes. Overwhelmed is such a good word to describe this. I thank God for giving Mark and Candy the vision to minister to these people. I thank Him for putting it in the hearts of others to join and serve with them. I thank Him for being the answer to all of our deepest needs… each one of us. John put it so eloquently yesterday: “Father, each of us was homeless once.” The Lord has brought us into His family. He has given us salvation and a home that goes far beyond anything this world has to offer. He has made His home WITH us. How amazing is that? How should we live in light of eternity?
If you’ve never attended a trip like this to serve the homeless, I encourage you to see if the Lord would use you this way. I can’t tell you what will happen out there - it’s always an adventure. But what I CAN tell you is that you will be given a dose of perspective that will blow you away, and that you will never be the same. When we are obedient to the Lord’s call to care for widows, orphans and those less fortunate… He blesses in ways we can’t even begin to comprehend. Seeing the love of God in action is like nothing else. His beauty is beyond comprehension. He’s more than wonderful.
Our church has been studying Revelation in the morning service for over a year now. Aside from the messages to the different churches in the first few chapters, I had never given Revelation too much thought before. I knew that some people found it fascinating, and I actually always kind of poo-poohed them and thought (full of self-righteousness and spiritual superiority) that it was such a waste for them to be so obsessed with eschatology when there was REAL truth to be learned and lived.
Although I held to a pre-trib viewpoint, I always joked and said that I was “pan-trib”… whatever happens, it will all pan out because the Lord will carry me through it. I still believe that. I don’t know when the rapture will occur in the final timeline for sure. I still don’t think we can be dogmatic about it (or much of the other events depicted in Revelation)… but the Lord has given me a newfound fascination for Revelation. I’m not interested in discussing it ad-nauseum with anyone who will listen…. or studying end times to the exclusion of the rest of Scripture… but I do have a new appreciation for the treasures found within this final book of the Scriptures.
In studying Revelation, I was amazed by how much of the Old Testament was woven into Revelation… connections that I never had made before, because I hadn’t taken the time to dive in.
I love some of the lessons I have taken with me. I have previously shared one that touched me deeply (I Sing a New Song!).
I love some of the symbolism that — had I not studied it — I would have completely missed or skipped over. Here are just a few of the things that have struck me over the last couple of weeks.
1.“Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea.” (Rev. 21:1)
I believe the fact that there is no more sea will be a physical reality. I have no reason to doubt that… but I have also come to believe that there may be a deeper meaning behind the absence of the sea.
In Genesis 7:11, the Lord brought judgment on the world through the flood.
In Exodus 14:28, the sea opened for the Israelites to pass through, and then covered Pharoah and his army.
In Isaiah 27:1 we are told that Leviathan, the fleeing serpent who would be slain made his home in the sea.
In Daniel 7:3 we learn that the four vicious Gentile powers seen by Daniel arose from the sea.
And in Revelation 13:1 the Antichrist comes from the sea.
So in light of all this, isn’t it possible that perhaps the reason there is no more sea in heaven is because of its negative connotation? I don’t know for sure… but it’s interesting, isn’t it? What if there’s no more sea to emphasize the fact that God’s judgment is final, and over… and there is no more need of the sea?
2. In John’s vision of the New Jerusalem in Rev. 21:19 it says that the foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with all kinds of precious stones. It lists them.
“The foundations of the city walls were decorated with every kind of precious stone. The first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third chalcedony, the fourth emerald, the fifth sardonyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, and the twelfth amethyst.” (Rev. 21:19-20)
Now check this out… those are the same stones used in the breastplate of the high priests (Ex. 28:15-21). The prerogatives once reserved for the high pries now belong to the entire city! There is no need for that mediator anymore… for Christ has become the Mediator between God and man, and we are all given priestly responsibilities. I know that this is true the moment we come to salvation, but still… I love that God illustrates it in such a beautiful way - by adorning the foundations of the city with those jewels!
3. Pearly Gates - The pearly gates have been talked about forever. Our hymns speak about them… secular songs talk about them… jokes make mention of them. They have come to be almost synonymous with Heaven itself. I never once, in all my life, have ever stopped to wonder… why gates made of pearls? Until this study of Revelation.
Pearls symbolize great value. I never thought about the fact that pearls came from an unclean animal (oysters - Lev. 11:10). Jesus Himself bought the pearl of great price (Matthew 13:45-46, and I can’t help but wonder if the fact that the gate is made of pearl might stand as a testimony to the fact that the redeemed from among the Gentiles, who responded to God in faith, are no longer considered unclean and may pass through the gates just as the Jews may. Remember Paul’s vision in Acts 10?
About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. He became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance. He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles of the earth and birds of the air. Then a voice told him, “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat.”
”Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean.”
The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”
This happened three times, and immediately the sheet was taken back to heaven.
(Acts 10:9-16)
I totally realize that I could be reading more into these passages than is there… but I don’t believe that anything in my interpretation contradicts Scripture, and to me… these gems tucked away in this book that I never took the time to study before… they just emphasize all over again how perfectly the whole of Scripture fits together. How anyone can look at God’s Word and NOT see it as being the Word of God is beyond me. There is too much prophecy perfectly fulfilled. There are too many pieces of the puzzle that line up identically with the rest. There are common threads woven throughout that just can’t be coincidence… and it would be impossible for all these different authors to pull it all together like that — unless each and every word of it truly is God-breathed.
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Tim. 3:16-17)
One of my highlights of the Spring was attending Noah’s T-ball games each week. No matter what else was going on in the world, the one thing I could count on was Monday and Wednesday afternoons. I will be the first to tell you that I am NOT a PTA mom by any stretch of the imagination. I hate school politics and (dare I say it?) chaperoning noisy field trips and fundraising and and all that goes with that stuff. I know… poor excuse for a parent, but there you have it.
What I find curiously funny is that I absolutely LOVE being a “soccer-mom” (or T-ball mom, if you will)! I love hauling my chair from the trunk, bathing in bugspray and settling down to watch my 7-year-old learn the basics of the game. When he gets frustrated, I feel it and empathize. When he gets ecstatic over making it on base, I’m jumping up and down in my chair and screaming, “Yeah! Noah!! Wooooooot Woooooot!!” When he suddenly grasps one of the fundamentals of the game and I can see the recognition cross his face, my heart swells with pride and satisfaction that he has been rewarded for sticking it out, even when it was tough and confusing (first year player, ya know).
In going through photos from Noah’s last T-ball game, I thought it might be fun to chronicle the adventure with the famous mantra, so here it is… Enjoy!
All I Really Need to Know, I Learned at T-Ball….
1. Suit up - Make Sure Ya Got the Right Gear!
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another and forgiving one naother, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” Col. 3:12-14
2. Keep Your Eye on the Ball
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Heb. 12:1-2
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Look Goofy
“Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, ‘He catches the wise in their own craftiness.’” 1 Corinthians 3:18-19
4. Time With the Coach is Important!
“Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. Give heed to the voice of my cry, my King and my God. For to You I will pray. My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.” Psalm 5:1-3
5. Our Foe Can Be Aggressive!
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” 1Peter 5:8
6. Life is Full of Close Calls
“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit’; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.’” James 4:13-15
7. Don’t Forget to Celebrate
“But let the righteous be glad; Let them rejoice before God; Yes, let them rejoice exceedingly. Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Extol Him who rides on the clouds, by His name YAH, and rejoice before Him.” Ps. 68:3-4
8. Life Comes At Ya Fast!
“My brethren, sount it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4
9. Relish Crossing Home Plate!
“For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing shall I be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:19-21
10. Keep Smiling!
“I will praise You, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works. I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.” Psalm 9:1-2
Noah - I have so much fun watching you learn and grow! I never cease to be amazed at your determination and spunk, and the way you grab hold of new adventures and give it your best. You love life and you love Jesus - with everything you’ve got. I’m so proud of you, son… and I love you!
I love the way the physical is so often a picture of the spiritual, don’t you? Not too long ago, I posted about my peonies (pictured below) and the lesson I felt God teaching me in finding the purpose behind the “ants” in my life.
Romans 8:28 assures me that He works all things together for my good, and I trust Him enough to take Him at His Word.
I am so thankful that I can sit and study this awesome love letter He has written - to me! - anytime, anywhere… without restriction or fear of persecution. When I think of Christians in other countries who have been forced underground… who daily live in fear of persecution if they are caught with the Scriptures… it makes me even more grateful that there are no such limitations on me. When I think of it.
The problem, I think, is that I don’t think of it often enough. I sometimes take for granted what a gift it is that I have this book in front of me - the Holy Word of God - and that I am free to open it up and pore over it’s pages at any moment.
I don’t memorize Scripture with the fervency of someone who wants it etched into her mind in case she should wake and find herself without the written Word at her fingertips.
“How can a young man clease his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your Word have I hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You. Blessed are You, O LORD! Teach me Your statutes, with my lips I have declared all the judgments of Your mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, as much as in all riches. I will meditate on Your precepts, and contemplate Your ways. I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word.” Psalm 119:9-16
I don’tmeditate on the Word nearly as often as I should.
“Oh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.” Psalm 119:97
“Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” Col. 3:16
I don’t study the Word the way I ought.
“Be diligent to present yourelf approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15
“Deal bountifully with Your servant, that I may live and keep Your word. Open my eyes, that I may see wondrous things from Your law. I am a stranger in the earth; do not hide Your commandments from me. My soul breaks with longing for Your judgments at all times.” Psalm 119:17-20
Does that truly and honestly describe the condition of my heart? My habits? My approach to God’s Word? My desire for the Word?
As I mulled this over in my mind, I was drawn back to the analogy from nature. I thought of my summer flowers and how beautiful they are right now. I thought of how you often see others of God’s creation attracted to them. It’s not unusual to see a bee or a butterfly stopping by to investigate. Have you noticed the difference between the two?
The butterfly kind of flits from here to there, never stopping too long. She is inclined to give more of a surface inspection, eager to move on to the rest the world has to offer her. So many flowers, so little time…
The bee, on the other hand, dives right in, practically disappearing as it sets its sights on the treasure. It gets right into the heart of the peony and uses its long tongue to lap up the nectar hidden deep within the flower. When it backs out, tiny bits of pollen are stuck to its body, evidence of its adventure into the blossom.
Are you seeing the picture with me? Oh, how I want my adventure into the Word to be like the bee, rather than the butterfly! I want to dive in… bury myself in it! And when I back out of it… how I pray that there will be little bits of truth still stuck to me, evidence of my own journey into the heart of God’s Word!
Father, give me a heart to know You and to love You. Give me a passion for Your Word. May my desire and determination to dig into Your living Word resemble that of the bee. I want to dive in and drink deeply of all You have for me… and to be overcome by the nectar of Your Spirit as You speak to me through Your living Word.
“How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psalm 119:103
So you know how you’re breezing through life, taking things one day at a time, and then God just seems to keep hitting you over and over with the same message? I shared in THIS POST that the Lord really seemed to be stressing to me how important it is that I live with an eternal perspective, rather than a temporal one… to set my eyes on things unseen, and store up treasures in heaven, rather than worrying about the material things here on earth.
This week, the theme seems to have changed. Not that the pursuit of the holy and the heavenly is not just as important, but a new current seems to be running through the things I have read, heard, and felt the Lord impress upon my heart. Maybe another facet of the holy and the heavenly. The title above says it all: “Ruin me.”
Picture it with me.
“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings; with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said,
‘Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!’
And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. So I said:
‘Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.’” (Isaiah 6:1-5)
I was reading an interview that Discipleship Journal did with Kay Warren this week. When I first picked it up I glanced at it and, scanning the interview saw something about missions and kind of willed myself to read it. I know - that’s sad. Don’t get me wrong. I am concerned for the lost, but the headline on the page read, “My Heart Has Been Broken by the Suffering of AIDS,” and my immediate thought was, “Well, it’s not like I’m going to Africa anytime soon. It’s sad and tragic and all, but not really where God has called ME…”
As I said, I kind of willed myself to read it before moving on to the other articles that I deemed much more valuable and targeted to my “niche” of ministry. Scratch that. The Spirit prompted me to read it, even though it wasn’t my particular area of interest. I am so glad I listened to His gentle pleading! I actually really enjoyed the interview, and took much away from it… but it gets even better! After a week or more of musing over the idea of asking God to “ruin me”, just look what I found tucked into the middle of this dialogue!
DJ: If you’d known six years ago that having your heart broken would lead to this kind of intimacy with God, would you have been less fearful?
KAY: I think so. But God is flat-out dangerous. You don’t enter into a relationship with Almighty God and not know that you are in the presence of a sovereign. The two words that have typified my life the last six years have been terror and exhilaration. I sometimes stop and say, “God, it is so amazing to be in partnership with You. I can’t imagine a greater high on earth. It’s exhilarating!” And then I realize, Oh, my goodness. I’m in partnership with God! What am I thinking? This is terrifying! He’s so big and so powerful, and I’m not. How can I possibly think that I can partner with God? We can’t encounter God and not be radically shaken, disturbed, ruined.
DJ: What do you mean?
KAY: God ruins everything! Our plans, our agendas, our goals, our money, our relationships, our lifestyles, the way we see ourselves, the way we see Him, the way we view our circumstances, the way we look at every person we meet, how we handle temptation, how we fight evil and push back the darkness.
DJ: But He does it in the best possible way…
KAY: Isn’t that glorious? My friend Elizabeth went with me on my second trip to Africa. After we got back, she sent me an email that said, ‘Thanks a lot! I’m ruined — gloriously ruined.” That’s exactly it! I am gloriously ruined. I’m not the same person I used to be, and I don’t want to go back. I can’t live the same way I did before. For along with the extraordinary pain and suffering and evil I have seen, along with the amount of sorrow my heart experiences, I know a vibrancy and joy in walking with God and with other people that I never knew before. He really shook things up but in a very good way.
Oh, how I want to be gloriously ruined! Don’t you? Radically shaken, disturbed… RUINED. I wish you could feel the sense of urgency and excitement that I have over this! I read that article with tears in my eyes, knowing without a doubt that God was speaking directly to my heart. I want to be so completely emptied of myself that He is able to fill each and every crevice and corner of my heart. I want my Savior to come and so demolish the things in me that get in the way of what He wants to do in my life that what remains is barely recognizable to those who knew me… before Him. I want Him to ruin my plans, my agenda, my view of things, my selfishness, my pride… everything! And day by day, He is faithful to do that in me. It’s not happening overnight, or perhaps as quickly as I’D like, but then again that’s just the sovereign God, ruining my timeline… and I’m ok with that!
My new favorite song is by Jeff Johnson. The title is - you guessed it - “Ruin Me”, and the lyrics read like this…
Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see You seated on Your throne
Exalted, Your glory surrounds You
Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare
When I see Your glory
Ruin my life
The plans that I’ve made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
Till it’s You alone I live for
You alone I live for
HOLY HOLY IS THE LORD ALMIGHTY
It’s times like this that I really wish I had a music player on this page! The first time I heard this song, it stopped me in my tracks. This is the prayer of my heart… totally, completely, utterly.
Although the sound quality isn’t great, here’s a video set to the song. If you’d rather just listen, you can hear it on Jeff’s myspace page: www.myspace.com/jeffjohnsonmusic. For those of you who have helped with the homeless missions at VCC, you’ll appreciate the video. Especially if you can read it through your tears. It’s no coincidence that as I looked for a video to share this song with you all, THIS is the only one I found. As we prepare to head out next Sunday to minister to the homeless, I pray you’ll remember this song… Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory… including the streets of Portland
Ruin me, Lord.
Ah… but hallelujah, the story doesn’t end there!
“Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said:
‘Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged.’” (Isaiah 6:6-7)
Glory! I am undone before a holy awesome Creator, and He has removed my iniquity as far as the East is from the West… He has bought my life with His precious blood and purged my sin with His incomparable sacrifice.
And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. (Joshua 24:15)
Serving God was not Joshua’s only option. He could have adopted the religious beliefs and practices of his family heritage in the pagan land of Egypt. He could have accepted the idolatrous religion of his neighbors in the region where he now lived. These options probably looked like easier choices than worshiping God. But Joshua had witnessed God’s faithfulness (Josh. 23:14). He was convinced that his Lord was the only true God and that serving Him would bring victory and blessing. Joshua decided to serve God alone. He was determined to teach his entire household to honor his Lord as well. He had trusted God for victory on the battlefield, and he knew that God could also give him spiritual victory in his home.
You, too, must decide whom you will serve. An assortment of popular religions clamors for your allegiance. If you come from a Christian heritage, you may choose to embrace the faith of your parents and grandparents. If you did not grow up in a Christian home, you can decide, as Joshua did, to reject your heritage of unbelief and begin a generation that serves the Lord.
If you set your mind wholeheartedly on serving God, your example will bring a tremendous blessing to your family. If you place your confidence in God, those around you will witness your faith, and they may decide to trust Him too. Choose, as Joshua did, to serve God unashamedly with all your heart, and then watch to see how God blesses your family.
How closely this ties in with the new study some of us have started in Daniel! We certainly do have a choice to make, don’t we? This world we live in has its own set of standards. The moral compass it follows is drastically different from the one God’s Word prescribes for me. It might as well be on another planet! And I suppose, in a way, it is.
I shared with the ladies in last night’s study how the Lord has really been showing me over the past couple of weeks how important it is that I be set apart from Him. He desires that I live with an eternal perspective, rather than a temporal one. He wants me to keep my focus on Him, rather than on the things this world has to offer. He has drilled that point with me through every study I’ve participated in this week - last Thursday, Sunday morning, Monday evening, and now this Blackaby devotional.
I so want to be different from this world. I want the people I interact with on a daily basis to look at me and see something odd. I want them to wonder what makes me so different. When coworkers are gossiping, I want them to feel uncomfortable doing it around me because they know it’s something I would never partake in. And yet Satan tempts me each and every day. What is it about lowered voices that causes our ear to keen - even a little - straining to hear what is clearly not intended for us?
Satan loves to use the forbidden, doesn’t he? To take something that isn’t meant for us, and use it to lure us in… to draw us in. The concept is age-old. Back in Eden, the enemy used the one thing that was off limits to Eve to entice her and cause her to sin against God. In my past, I have been tempted by the salacious. There’s just something about doing what you know you’re not supposed to do that makes it that much more exciting… how I pray for my children, in today’s society - that they would resist the devil’s attempts to draw them away from the Lord and his invitations to be held captive by the “delicacies” of this world. How I pray for myself!
Father God, help me to focus on the eternal today. Touch my eyes with Your holy hands and train them to seek after You alone. Give me spiritual blinders, Lord… don’t let my gaze be stolen by the things of this world, however enticing they may be… however good they may seem on the surface. I want to fix my eyes on You, the Author and Perfector of my faith. I want to seek after You with everything I have. I beg You to take anything that serves as a distraction from that goal and remove it from my vision. Be the voice calling out to me, “This is the way… walk in it!” Let my feet remain on the path You have ordained for me. I’m calling out to You today, Lord. Tell me great and unsearchable things I do not know… lead me in the way of the everlasting. Let me serve You alone, casting aside all other gods today. However small they may seem, anything that takes my attention from You - I want it stripped away. I love You, Lord. What a privilege and an honor it is to be called Your child! I want to lavish love upon You as You have lavished it upon me… I can’t even come close, Lord, but how I want to pour out my heart and my love to You. Everything I have is Yours, Lord… possessions, abilities, time… and my love. You are worthy of it all.
Anything growing in my yard can be attributed to the gardening method passed down to me from my mother: the Point and Plant Technique. I point, Joel plants. Trust me, the results are much, much nicer than if we tried to do it any other way.
By some miracle, I have a peony that has been with me since before Joel arrived on the scene to rescue my landscape. I was admiring it the other day, and noticing that it had several “balls” (yes - that’s my very technical term for an unopened bud) on it.
“Wow,” I thought… “This is going to be beautiful this year!”
To my dismay, I soon realized that there were tiny red ants crawling all over them. How dare they? As I started brushing them off, I phoned Joel and informed him that he would have to get right after the plant with some “bug stuff” (yes - my technical term for garden pest control) to kill off these annoying ants that were chewing the leaves off my peonies (yes - they’re “MY” balls, even though all I am responsible for is enjoying them).
Joel informed me that the ants should be left alone… that they chew the leaves off the buds so the flower can open. Apparently, he’s right. I found this at www.peonies.org:
Do not try to get rid of the ants on your peonies. This is a natural and temporary activity. It is believed that peonies produce small amounts of nectar and other ant attractants to encourage ants to help in opening the dense double flower buds found in many peonies. The ants may be found covering certain varieties and avoiding others, this is totally normal.
Once the buds have opened the ants will disappear - also normal.
Hmmmm. Normal. Not just normal, but beneficial? Ants?
God takes something I see as a nuisance - something I might consider downright harmful - and uses it for good? Who ever heard of such a thing?
Well, James, for one.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 2:1-4
Reading over that peony information, a couple of things struck me. “This is a natural and temporary activity.” I couldn’t help but be reminded of Paul’s words in Romans 8:18,
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”
And then the last line: “Once the buds have opened, the ants will disappear.” Once my various trials have done their work of shaping me and molding me into the woman Christ wants me to be… once they have accomplished His purpose in me… they too, will disappear.
As I thought about my future peonies, I could picture how beautiful they will be. I know from previous experience that they will be a soft pink shade, and that the flowers will be so huge that the stalk will droop with the weight of them.
Not only will they be a treasure for the eyes, but they will give off an aroma so sweet and fragrant that it causes one to just stop short and breathe deeply, drinking in the scent.
I want my life to be like that. I want it to be so filled with Christ that others stop and drink in His beauty. I want to live in a way that brings pleasure, both to Him and to those around me. I want to be able to view the various trials that come into my life (ants) as something beneficial - even necessary. Over the years the Lord has shown me that He uses all of them to tear away layers that are hiding the me He wants me to be. He uses all kinds of different things to strip away those things that must go so that I can bloom as He wants me to.
Here is the challenge:
Will I try to brush them away, or let them be?
Will I simply want them gone, or will I surrender to God’s plan and accept that He has a purpose for each one of them?
Will I be patient to let them finish the work He has designed for them to do, knowing that in the end, something beautiful will emerge - a life surrendered, a pleasing aroma to the Lord?
Wow… it’s been a long time! Too long. Has it really been over a month since I’ve posted here? Where has the time gone?
For those of you who continue coming, hoping to find some new tidbit and seeing nothing but the same wall, I thank you for sticking with me, even in the lean months! I do apologize for my absence, but I really can’t feel all that guilty about it. It’s just life getting in the way, ya know?
I love being a wife and mother. I love that when I spend too much time shut up in my room they miss me. I love that I’m needed. I love THEM.
I love that God brings us through different seasons. I love that, for a time, He has prompted me to focus on more immediate and tangible things - personal Bible study, cultivating more love and respect in my marriage, helping my middle child struggle with maintaining friendships in the chaotic world of 7th grade, watching the National Spelling Bee with 7-year old Noah who has definite plans to one day be on that stage, hugging my woman-child daughter as she finds her way in - and out of - first love.
I was just sharing with a girlfriend today that I’m learning to say “no.” For the longest time, we were at everything. If the doors of the church were open (or even the HOME of a brother/sister from church), we were there. We serve in various ministries, but also felt obligated to attend every church function, every cookout, every birthday party, etc. You get the picture.
There’s nothing wrong with fellowshiping with church family - don’t get me wrong. But when that family time starts to run over and take it’s toll on THIS family time - something’s wrong. My first priority is my God, my man, and my children. Oh, I’m learning to say “no”… and I’m not even apologizing for it anymore!
I suppose blogland has been something else that I’ve said “no” to recently. Not consciously, mind you… but with a life so full of so much stuff - it’s natural for something to fall by the wayside. Again… seasons. I’ll try to be more diligent about using this space to work through the things God is teaching me, through His Word and through my daily life… but if I seem to drop off the radar for a bit, you’ll understand why. It’s just life getting in the way.
Here’s a snapshot of recent reality:
Jasmine was having a tough time in one of her friendships. She and this particular girl have been the best of friends for years. For one reason or another, they got into a feud. I don’t know that either of them could remember what they were fighting about… but things got bad, and then worse.
After J’s friend told her she didn’t want her to speak to her ever again, J wrote a note explaining her feelings - both the things she had been upset about AND the way she was saddened that something so silly could get in the way of all those years of friendship. It was a good note. Honest. To the point. Explanatory. Apologetic.
Her friend responded by saying something to the effect of, “You don’t get it. We’re not fighting anymore. We’re nothing. Period. I will never, in any way shape or form, be your friend again. It’s over.”
How my heart broke for my little girl. I’m not naive. I know that it takes two to argue, and she is not completely innocent in this whole exchange, but still… I knew how she was hurting and hated to see her so upset. We sat down with the Word and I shared the following passage with her:
Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.
Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore
“ If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
We talked about how she had done all she could to restore peace in the relationship. She was curious about burning coals, and I told her that God commands her to love her friend, and to continue to treat her with grace and mercy… to bless her. We talked about how when someone was truly repentant, they would often go about with a pot of burning coals on their head, signifying how sorry they were. I told her that if she were to just go on loving her friend, and treating her as she would want to be treated (such as not planning her spectacular birthday party and then bragging about it in front of the friend who was no longer intending to come), often God will bring that person to feel sorry for what they’ve done.
And then we prayed together for her friend. For her relationships. For her attitude. For God to restore peace and bring healing.
I’m happy to report that the next day, she came home to inform me that all was well and they were friends again. Joel said, “I wonder what happened to change her mind?”
Jasmine replied, “Mama and I prayed.”
Yep. Just life getting in the way. Forgive me for not apologizing for it. Wait… is that an oxymoronic sentence? Oh well… you get me.
God bless, my friends! May each of your lives be filled with teachable moments… the stuff this wonderful life is made of!
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3
Isn’t that an amazing snippet of truth? Isn’t it reassuring in the face of a world that is changing rapidly and often seems out of control?
How do we get that knowledge of Him but by feasting upon His Word?
David certainly knew the importance of being in the Word, didn’t he? Even these few verses from Psalm 119 speak to his hunger for it…
89 Forever, O LORD,
Your word is settled in heaven. 90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
You established the earth, and it abides. 91 They continue this day according to Your ordinances,
For all are Your servants. 92 Unless Your law had been my delight,
I would then have perished in my affliction. 93 I will never forget Your precepts,
For by them You have given me life.
97 Oh, how I love Your law!
It is my meditation all the day. 98 You, through Your commandments, make me wiser than my enemies;
For they are ever with me. 99 I have more understanding than all my teachers,
For Your testimonies are my meditation. 100 I understand more than the ancients,
Because I keep Your precepts. 101 I have restrained my feet from every evil way,
That I may keep Your word. 102 I have not departed from Your judgments,
For You Yourself have taught me. 103 How sweet are Your words to my taste, Sweeter than honey to my mouth!
129 Your testimonies are wonderful;
Therefore my soul keeps them. 130 The entrance of Your words gives light;
It gives understanding to the simple. 131 I opened my mouth and panted,
For I longed for Your commandments. 132 Look upon me and be merciful to me,
As Your custom is toward those who love Your name.
How about us? Do we love His Word that much? I don’t know about you, but for me… I think it depends on the day. My lips will talk about how I love it all day long… and yet if you were to measure what I say by what I do, although I do believe my life is characterized by spending time with Him fairly consistently, there are some days when my actions would contradict my claims. Oh, I find every excuse in the book to try and justify or explain it away, but the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. It’s so silly, really, because I KNOW what a blessing spending that time with Him is. I know that it sets the tone to my entire day. I know that when I begin my day by meditating on His Word and talking with Him, my soul is sensitive to what He’s doing in my life, and I experience the riches of His favor in a much deeper way. I know all this. And yet still there are days when I hear Him gently calling, “Come away with me, My love” and still I choose to hit the snooze button, or fold laundry instead.
So here’s to a new day… and His mercies that are new every morning. It’s my prayer that as I spend more and more time with Him, it will become more and more difficult to resist His tender voice calling out to me… and the more sweet fellowship I experience with Him, the more I will come to look like Him. And that would be a beautiful thing, Amen?
Ssssssssssssh… listen! Do you hear that? That gentle voice whispering your name?
