Posted by: bellissimanh | July 13, 2012


“Mom, I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but I’ve never blamed you for what happened to me, and I want you to know that.”

I didn’t even realize how much I needed to hear those words until they reached my ears. I looked at my beautiful Imagedaughter, now 17, with her scarred skin and her sparkling eyes and I couldn’t speak.

She graced me with this gift of her words as casually as if she were telling me she’d by home by nine. She no sooner said them than she was off, moving on to the next topic of conversation… but that’s the way my Jasmine is. She doesn’t talk things to death. She says what she needs to say and is done with it. Until I learned that this is how she’s wired, it used to bother me. I’m a verbal processor… I need to talk it out. This child of mine, however, like me in so many ways, is just different in this. Knowing that makes me treasure her words even more.

For years after the fire that left third-degree burns over 90% of her body, I was plagued with nightmares. They rarely involved fire, but they always involved my children being in danger, and my utter powerlessness to save them. Once they were in a car, headed for a lake – I couldn’t stop it. In another two men broke into our home and went after them, while I was bound and gagged, forced to watch. Even in consciousness, although logic assured me that there was nothing I could have done differently, no way I could have known what would happen to her… my emotions often told a different story and left me wracked with guilt. Over time, those feelings have dissipated, and the reality that I’m actually not a poor excuse for a mother has overcome my sense of inadequacy and failure. Yet today, as soon as what she said registered in my head, it was as if a weight I didn’t even know I was still carrying was lifted. What a precious blessing.

Our words have power. We can use them to heal, or to wound… to bring joy, or pain. We can build others up, or we can tear them down. We should never underestimate the effect our words can have on others, and we need to use them wisely.

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers is up.” Proverbs 12:25

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

Jasmine, thank you for your words. Thank you for being an amazing young woman – beautiful inside and out. Thank you for loving so well. I’m so proud of you, and I love you.



  1. What a precious post!!! Only the Lord knew how much you needed to hear that from Jasmine and how wonderful that she was obedient to say them.

  2. Beautiful just like her Mother!

  3. Jas is indeed a precious precious gift

  4. God bless Jasmine for saying that to you. She is so pretty, and I can tell she has such a loving heart. (Takes after her Mom) 🙂

  5. Thank you all… she truly is a gift. My children are all amazing and one of the Lord’s greatest blessings to me 🙂

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