Posted by: bellissimanh | January 16, 2012

A Journey Upward

Yesterday I wrote about God getting honest with me about some things. He has shown me that I have quite a ways to go when it comes to truly forgiving some folk, and that my attitude needs to be one of prayer… that rather than grumble and complain, I need to pray for ALL believers, not just the ones who have blessed my life, or who bring me particular joy. There’s the conviction.

But the next part is sweet. Shortly after the conviction (within hours) He also comforted and encouraged me. I was digging into the homework for my Beth Moore study (don’t you love her?) and the Scripture focus was Psalm 120.

A Cry for Truth and Peace
A song of ascents

In my distress I called to the LORD, and He answered me.

“LORD, deliver me from lying lips and a deceitful tongue.”

What will He give you, and what will He do to you, you deceitful tongue?

A warrior’s sharp arrows, with burning charcoal!

What misery that I have stayed in Meshech, that I have lived among the tents of Kedar!

I have lived too long with those who hate peace.

I am for peace, but when I speak, they are for war.

I don’t know if any Psalm more accurately depicts the condition of my heart over recent months. I don’t even know what all people have said about me, but if a fraction of things I’ve heard are indicative, much of it is untrue… and at very best, misunderstood. Many have spoken out of ignorance, simply passing on juicy gossip, yet others have done so with nasty motives. Regardless, I can so relate to the heart of this Psalmist! I have nearly prayed his words specifically. I have longed for peace, only to find others who cannot bring themselves to reconcile. I have longed for peace, but been unable to bring myself to reconcile.

Beth points out that bringing our complaints before the Lord is much more effective than dumping them on other people. When I discuss my hurts with others, more likely than not my description is going to be laced with personal bitterness, blame casting, and condemnation. If not characterized by it, surely it will be tinged with those feelings. How could it not be?

Yet with Christ, I have the freedom to be completely honest… to lay it all out before Him, without fear of poisoning His mind with my sinful attitudes. Besides that, He truly is the only One who can give the comfort I’m so desperately in need of… the love that I feel I’ve been denied by others… the peace I’m craving.

In examining motives, it’s likely that people who say negative things about others are looking to build themselves up. But that works both ways… how much of my complaining about the injustices I’ve suffered has been nothing more than an attempt to make myself look (and feel) better as my insecurity has reared its ugly head. God calls me to be better than this. He calls me to, as my reading from 1 Thessalonians yesterday showed me, a “work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope.” (1 Thessalonians 1:3)

Psalm 120 is the first of the Psalms of Ascent – a journey upward. I’m taking His hand, and stepping up. Pray for me as I seek to be obedient in this. And whatever your struggle, know that I pray for you as well. Feel free to share, or simply leave your name in the comments section so I can add you specifically to the “ALL” I’m praying for. I’d be honored.



  1. Looks like growth is going on in your heart in an exponential sort of way. Beautiful to behold!! Love you.

  2. Love you too, Leah! I hope so.

  3. I feel blessed reading this and to know that you are not the only one is a wounderful thing within itself. I love you as a fellow child of God and will pray for you as well to hear him as he gives you the wisdom needed to make it through whatever situation that’s going on. Keep me also in your prayers!

  4. Praying for you too, Kisha! 🙂

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