Posted by: bellissimanh | November 28, 2010

Hesitaste

Hesitaste – “Taste and see that the Lord is good…” Psalm 34:8

We lead crazy busy lives. Well… I lead one. I spend much of my time rushing from this appointment to that, cramming as much as possible into each day. I call it productiveness, but somehow I don’t think God sees it quite that way.

We can pour ourselves into worthwhile projects… even GODLY stuff… and still be disappointing to our Heavenly Father. It’s entirely possible to get so caught up in the “doing” that we neglect just “being” with Him.

I have never been a pew warmer. Growing up as a preacher’s kid, our family has always been heavily involved in ministry. Attending small churches in NH, we were called on to serve in multiple avenues of service (you know that whole 20/80 principle? Try being the 20% in a congregation of 70!) At our church, my Dad didn’t just preach and counsel… he cleaned the toilets, he attended every meeting, he mowed the grass. I grew up thinking that this level of service was not only admirable… I thought it was NORMAL. And when I became an adult involved in ministry myself, I didn’t think it odd that we were out five nights a week.

Here’s the kicker: if we don’t get a handle on this prioritizing thing? God will do it for us.

This year, the Lord orchestrated the events of my life in such a way that I was forced to sit on the bench for a while. He removed me from ministry and set me in a position to place my focus solely on Himself. At first I fought. I kicked and screamed. I justified why it was unfair… unwise… even unloving. But y’know what? It was BEST. The Lord knew that I needed time to re-evaluate many things in my life in light of who He was proving Himself to be to me. He wanted to grow me in areas that I wouldn’t have paid attention to had I just continued with the daily grind. He wanted me to invest deeper in the lives of my husband and children. He wanted me to be satisfied with Him alone, and nothing else. And to teach me that He is GOOD.

Wow. It’s taken months for me to be able to recognize (and even longer to say out loud) that I wasn’t. Oh, I loved Him… but I loved Him AND ministry. My joy was so wrapped up in my doing that I lost sight of what was most important… HIM (Marth/Mary, anyone?)

After nearly a year of keeping my mind and heart set on Him, the Lord is moving me back into ministry. Slowly. I pray that I will not lose sight of the lessons learned during this time of waiting… seeking… BEING. But if I do, I have no doubt that He will bench me again, as He sees fit.

And that’s ok.

We all need to stop and smell the sweet Rose of Sharon. Jesus Christ yields a most fragrant and lovely scent. Take the time to savor Him.

Picture of a Flower from the Rose of Sharon

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Responses

  1. I live in Kentucky, started reading your post on fb about a year ago . They were such a blessing to be. Glad that you have a blog sight now..Jan

  2. Started reading your post on fb about a year ago, such a blessing. I too want God to be the center of my life, looking forward to your blogs.

  3. Thanks, Jan! I’ve had a blog for several years, but the blogging has really slowed this year. Perhaps it was part of my “benching” too. Also, much of what I’ve experienced this year was still too raw to write about for others to read. I pray that as I start this new season w/the Lord, I’ll be able to keep up with the creative end of putting it all on paper. I enjoy it. God bless you, my friend!

  4. AMEN!!! Oh, for more of the sweetness of HIM!! It blesses me how you are enjoying Him!! (and others I see it in them, too!) Thank you for the reminder.. 🙂

  5. I wrote a post last week along these same lines. It was about being in the Secret Place with the Lord and how so often we/I would not know the secret place if it jumped up and slapped me because I stay so busy. I can very much relate.

    Glad you are posting again. I missed you while you were away.

    Leah


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