Posted by: bellissimanh | May 18, 2009

The Tweens

Jasmine went on a school trip to DC a few weeks ago. It was a LONG week! She was greatly missed… wow. The privilege of being her mother means more to me with each passing day.

We were so excited about her coming home that we wanted to surprise her. Jessica, Joel and I all attacked her bedroom the night before she was to return and cleaned it, top to bottom. With all three of us working, it didn’t take a terribly long time… but the difference was staggering when we were finished. It wasn’t just picked up (according to teen standards)… it was CLEAN.

Sorting through her things was a little bittersweet for me. There was such a mish mash of content. American Girl dolls lay next to lip gloss and eye shadow. Playtex slims rested atop a  miniature trunk filled with barbie clothes.

Almost overnight (ok, maybe it just seems that way), she has gone from being my baby girl to this wonderful, beautiful woman-child. Caught somewhere between the world of toys and that of adulthood, her life is often confusing. Her behavior ranges from that of immature middleschooler to that of someone capable of discernment and wisdom… and back again.

Just like mine.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (1 Cor. 13:11)

How I long for that maturity. Some days I feel all grown up. I feel that I’m fully relying on the Lord and that together we can handle whatever comes my way. But there are other days. Days when I take my eyes off of Christ and rest them on my circumstances. Days when I allow stress and worry to take the place of peace and trust… and confusion abounds.

When I read Romans 7:15,  I can’t help but feel that Paul must have understood that tug of war between the two:  “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.” This is a man who was a mighty embassador for Christ. He had many children in the faith… he planted churches… he inspired others to godliness, and yet he still felt the pull of his own humanity and sin. I can so relate!

So let’s just call it what it is… the Tweens. 🙂

I’m so grateful that “He who began a good work in [me] will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6) Until that day, I am a tween.

I’m between the now and the not yet. I’m a stranger in this world, but it’s not time for me to find my home. I’m being transformed into His likeness with ever increasing glory (2 Corinthians 3:18), and yet I’m so not there yet. We have such a long way to go, He and I.

But we’ll make it. Not because I’ll be faithful, but because HE is. In spite of me and my tween mood swings… my childish behavior and moments of grown up lucidity. He will one day finally grow me up into the woman He has intended for me to be all along. And He’ll hold my hand all the rocky way.

I’m so glad that one day I’ll be all grown up… and I’ll be the spitting image of my Dad. 🙂

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I’m with you…, the more I know…, the more I know I have so much more to learn. God is so patient with us. I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll look just like Him.
    Blessings – Lisa

  2. Great post! I like your comparison. I’m afraid I’ve spent too much time in the tweens!

  3. Great write up. I enjoy your style of getting the point across. Inspiredword

  4. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve stomped my foot and marched away in anger, only to realize later what a baby I was being! Thank goodness He is patient…

    Xandra

  5. How beautiful!! You put into words what I so often feel. I disappoint myself so often. I’m so thankful Jesus doesn’t give up on me!!

    Thank you for this wonderful, wonderful post.

    Leah

  6. Oh, this speaks deeply to my soul. One day, I’ll be grown up and mature because of Christ holding my hand and God’s faithfulness. Oh, thank You Lord Jesus.

    Bless you Heather!

  7. I am slowly learning that it’s not about how faithful I am but how faithful He is… that was such a great way of putting it. I am not ready for my little girl to grow up, but at the same time I am. Afterall, we long for them to be mature. I can’t imagine God’s patience with me as I take what seems like forever to grow up into Christ.

    Great post:)

  8. Sorry, that last comment was me. Not sure why it didn’t go through right:)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: