Posted by: bellissimanh | January 27, 2009

The Love Dare

Ok. First of all, if you haven’t seen this movie, be sure to rent it. I think it’s available on DVD today!

Second, The Love Dare is now available. Even if your marriage is fantastic, I encourage you to check this out! It was brought to the attention of my Thursday morning study group, and we’ve all decided to do it together (I’m so excited!)  The Love Dare personally leads you through daily devotionals, records your thoughts and experiences, and ends each day’s reading by daring you to perform a simple act of love for your spouse. And let me tell you… this is CHALLENGING!

I didn’t realize how impatient I am until I tried to go through an entire day being patient and saying nothing negative to my hubby. I was amazed at the little — STUPID — things that annoyed me, and my own childish response to them. Wow. That’s all I can say. Truly.

I also didn’t anticipate the enemy attacking so intensely. You’d think that, especially for a marriage that’s in pretty good shape to begin with, it wouldn’t be such an issue… but it’s as if the moment I decided to take The Love Dare and become more intentional (DILIGENT) in loving my husband, the enemy sat up and took notice — and took AIM.

I planned a nice dinner for Monday evening — an act of kindness toward my hubby. All was going well, until he informed me that he wasn’t going to have time to eat before going out to play bball with the guys. Huh?? Have you not seen me busting my butt getting this special meal ready for you? What? Are you kidding?

Thankfully, those words didn’t escape my lips, but I wasn’t silent as I wish I’d been. Instead I muttered something like, “I wish I’d known you weren’t staying for dinner… I wouldn’t have bothered with this. The kids would just as soon have peanutbutter sandwiches.” Ugh. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I wished I could take them back. But that was it. I said no more (although the dishes hitting the sink might have made some noise).

I kid you not, the emotions that surged through me were not only unjustified (bball is a standing obligation – it wasn’t a surprise), they were completely selfish and petty. My husband works very hard to provide for our family. Monday nights is something that’s not just fun for him, it gives him fellowship with the guys from church and a special time in the Word.

The honest truth is that better planning on my part could have avoided this entire unpleasantness. I know the schedule for Mondays. Had I gone to the grocery store YESTERDAY (when I had plenty of time) instead of putting it off until this afternoon, dinner would have been ready and on the table by 5 o’clock, giving us time to enjoy a nice meal together AND giving Joel time to eat and get to the gym. *sighs*

I want to scream with Paul…

“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  (Romans 7:14-25)

 I may be a slow learner… but I’m learning. And praying that today will show me to have more patience… and thanks be to God — through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Yesterday’s dare was to do one small act of kindness for your spouse. Knowing that Joel likes to put on comfy clothes when he gets home, before I left for Bible Study I laid out some pajama bottoms and a warm sweatshirt for him, along with his fur-lined crocks (they’re really not as girlie as they sound – honest!). On top of the folded clothes I left a card expressing my thanks for how hard he works to care for our family.  It had a picture of a dog with a cape on the front and inside it read, “You’re my hero.”

You won’t be surprised to hear that the mood in our home that evening was much different than it was when we left earlier. 

He raved about dinner.

He made a big show of his attire and thanked me profusely for laying it out for him.

He hugged me tightly and said, “You’re my hero, too. I mean, my heroine. I’m addicted to heroin. You’re my drug of choice.”

Romantic, huh? You’d have to know Joel — you’d have to know US, to truly appreciate the humor.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Gentleness. Helpfulness. Willingness. Initiative. DILIGENCE.

How I want my love for my family to be characterized like that!



  1. We went and saw the movie – it was great!

  2. I’m going to find this on Netflix and add it to my queue, and then I’m heading over the Lifeway to purchase this book. What a great idea!


  3. Men just thrive on attention and respect. Another GREAT book that I highly recommend is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It made a huge difference in my marriage.

    Thanks for such a great reminder to pay more attention to my man. I’ve got Fireproof ordered. I can’t wait to see it.


  4. Sounds like this is a dare worth taking! I haven’t seen the movie but plan on it. Thanks for sharing!
    Blessings – Lisa

  5. Looks like a good movie. And I laughed at the “loud” clinking of dishes. Oh, how much noise can one disgruntled wife make without saying a word!


  6. I’ve started doing this, too! I am not doing it every day, but trying to hit each step as I can! Hope it goes well for you!

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